CRAPPY WEED – 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO LOOK FOR
Do you really know what you’re doing?
“Do you know what you’re doing? If you don’t have someone you can trust, it is best that you take the law into your own hands, and learn the simple 5 item quality control cannabis checklist.”
When you go into a dispensary it is good to consult with a knowledgeable budtender. Even if your cannabis professional knows their stuff, everyone has a bad day, or has too many things to do, so you might be left holding a bag of grotty weed.
Cannabis can have a very long shelf life, provided that it is stored correctly, in dry conditions, preferably in air tight glass containers. If your marijuana provider pulls out a dusty bottle from the top shelf and the seal is obviously not good, right there, you don’t want that weed, at any price. If Cannabis is to stand the test of time, it needs to be grown and harvested properly, without mold, insects, chemical sprays and other undesirables. This means that your dispensary knows which suppliers produce quality cannabis.
If everything is perfect, then cannabis can keep for 10 years or more. Recently, containers contain a non-toxic desiccant and container is sealed with an argon gas purge. Argon is an entirely inert gas that exists naturally in the atmosphere and stops oxidization. But if cannabis is dry, chemical and mold free, a portion of THC can oxidize and two hydrogen bonds break. This new-old molecule is called cannabinol. Cannabinol has different psychoactive and medicinal properties, some of which is preferable. So properly aged cannabis might be compared to a fine vintage of wine …. that has not turned into vinegar!
THE FIVE KEY QUALITY INDICATORS
Good weed smells good. Bad weed, not.
Weed’s aroma comes from its volatile components, small molecules that easily evaporate into the air. Most of these aromatic compounds are terpenes and thiols. Terpenes mixtures have a characteristic smell. The fragrance of lime, orange, mint, pine, pineapple…. and cannabis, is nearly all from the terpene composition. Thiols are particularly smelly and account for the skunk odor of many cannabis varieties. Basically, if the smell is very pungent, is wickedly strong, then that weed is likely well preserved or fresh.
If the weed smells moldy, it probably is. But you need to be able to distinguish the mold smell from earthy aromas that certain strains possess. In this regard, sniffing out bad weed is a skill similar to a wine tasters ability to analyze the bouquet of fine wines. Certain smells don’t belong there, if you smell something you’ve never smelted in weed before, like, say rotting fish, you want to ask questions. Without a proper explanation from a verified expert, don’t buy weed that does not smell right to you, even if you’re new to the game.
Good potent weed has a lot glossy of trichomes
What does crappy weed look like? In the case of fruit and vegetables, looks can be very misleading. Artificial ripening, overspraying to make them blemish free, overhydration and other tricks make the produce excellent, but it can taste like ass. Not only that, it’s hazardous to your health. With that said, there are tell tale signs that are a sure sign that things are not A-OK.
Old and dried out cannabis is crunchy and break apart into a fine powder. Seeds and stems are necessarily indicative of bad cannabis, but its a small red flag, you want to look deeper. Mold and Trichomes look similar but under the magnifying glass trichomes are glassy crystal like plant gadgets that contain much of the plant’s medicinal chemicals, like the terpenes, THC, CBD and other cannabinoids. Moldy weed has cotton fibers growing out of the trichomes.
TACTILE – HANDLE IT
Is it easy to pull the nugs apart or are they compressed (bad)? Does the weed feel moist (bad). Does the weed fall apart to the touch (maybe old, but many ok). When you get some really good weed, notice its texture and feel, and look for those traits into the future. Also, strike up a conversation with a good budtender and ask for tips. If he doesn’t have any, then maybe you need to find a new place to buy your week. We like our professionals to know more than us, right?
Good weed tastes good, bad weed tastes like crap. It is good to do a little sniffing around to develop your ability and confidence. Ask your local budtender to let you taste and smell some quality pot and some samples of lesser quality. Or get in the habit of manhandling your mate’s stash.
At the end of the day, if your cannabis looks good, smells good, breaks apart with no issues, and gives you that wonderful snap sensation, try it out. If you haven’t taken the time to inspect your herb first, I don’t advise skipping straight to smoking it before determining if it’s old or bad. That said, bad cannabis does not smoke well, which you’ll figure out very quickly into your first puff. Sometimes you just have to dig in and give it a try (although you should, at the very least, inspect for mold first).
No, we’re not joking. Properly cured and dried buds will make a crisp snap sound when the are pulled apart. A crisp sound means that the moisture content is low, which is good. Overly moist buds are harder to pull apart and don’t make much of a sound. Snap, crackle, and pop, good.
“Weed makes you stupid, fat, and lazy and if you’re a girl you act like a whore? Okay so I’ve been smoking weed since I was 11 and I have straight A’s, I weigh 120 lbs, I go for a run everyday, and I’ve been with the same guy for over a year. When is all that negative shit going to actually happen? All my friends seem to be the same way too and we all smoke a fuck ton” – Alpha Female Katie
AT THE END OF THE DAY
In addition having the weed passes your on-site testing, it is highly recommended …to get a valid certificate of analysis that shows that your medical herb is free of chemicals, sprays, and provides potency information, percentages of the cannabinoids, especially the THC, and CBD. It is quite useful to know the THCV values as well, because it’s effects tend to work opposite to regular THC. THCV is energising and suppress appetite as opposed to the sedating and munchie inducing THC. THCV is also more uplifting while THC can make you paranoid. Terpene test values are useful to find out what kinds work for you. For the scientifically inclined, there are a million combinations and perturbations to study.
MMJ DOCTOR: MMJ Doctor offers Exceptional Medical Marijuana (medical cannabis) Evaluations. Our mission is to ensure everyone can be evaluated to see if medical cannabis is something that can benefit them with their medical conditions. Our California licensed doctors will never turn away anyone who needs an evaluation for medical marijuana. Schedule your appointment online now. Click here.